1. Eat as much of the good stuff as you can. For example, if it's a chicken dish that has raisins in it (good God, I'm so sorry), eat the chicken bits and then scatter the pellet-raisins around so that they will look more like peppercorns than discards. If you are only offended by a side dish (butternut squash, canned cranberry sauce, anything with hazelnuts), say you're allergic. If the entire meal is inedible, say you ate a late lunch by accident, the meeting ran late and you had to run out at 4 to grab something, etc., etc., and the meatball sub / corned beef hash / half a turkey you pounded down is now taking up too much room, so sorry, etc. etc.
2. Take advantage of patterned dishware to hide your offenses. Camouflage the shiitake mushrooms with the lovely inset twigs decorating the china. Insinuate the stewed cherries in the rose petals. Fan out the undercooked eggplant into fern leaf. Make art out of the artless.
3. Distract your hosts. Exclaim over their new remodel, their children, their view, the beauty of the meal you are trying to avoid consuming. Ask what's in the non-traditional stuffing and then steer the conversation away from how "clever" it was to use cashews and prunes instead of onions and celery in favor of tripping down the memory lane of their childhood dinners. While your hosts are waxing nostalgic about plum pudding and marshmallow pie, carefully remove the large paper napkin you have hidden in your purse in the even your hosts decided on cloth (of course they did) and nod thoughtfully at their charming story while covering your mouth with the napkin. Make compassionate noises when they are retrieving some lost recipe for Grandma's vegetable mousse and discharge the contents of your mouth into the napkin. Fold the corners neatly and tuck the package back into your purse, where it will inevitably leak onto your wallet and after-dinner breath mints, but this is a small price to pay and you can deal with the cleanup later.
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very helpful! thanks!
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